Tuesday, February 07, 2006

My Anniversary

On January 31, 2004, I moved to Santo Domingo full-time. The old adage about if I knew then what I know now. I´m reminded of my life before I discovered the DR. It was in short, boring. I was at the same job for 10 years, in the same apartment for 8, and I didn´t go out much to the clubs anymore. In short I was just existing. I was a very unhappy person. I liked to travel and entertain/cook at home for friends, but when I starting to come to the DR I starting thinking about what other possibilities life offered me.

I have been getting several emails from people who have discovered the blog. They are looking for the same thing I was. A CHANGE! I don´t think the DR is for everyone, nor do I think that everyone needs to leave the States to find happiness. I just think life is short, so you need to find the things that are going to make you happy in life. Maybe it is going back to school, or pursuing another career. Whatever it is you have to do it before it gets too late.

In the 2 years that I have lived here I have discovered many things about myself. The most important is that I can do anything if I put my mind and energy to it. I never would have imagined me living here full-time 5 years ago. I couldn´t even imagine living anywhere but NYC. But, I have evolved into the person everyone loves (or loves to hate!).

The other thing I have learned is that I´m not as consumed as I used to be with what people think of me. I´m still working on the part about "accepting the things I cannot change." I would be lying if I said it didn´t pain me deeply when people who I think are my "friends"´ are rooting for my failure. I am human and I learned to understand what that is about. For those that hug me and want to know how I´m doing, but can´t wait until I´m out of earshot before they start to talk about me, I understand.

Now, on to some things that have been on my mind:

There is a guy whose photo is on my website. I have known him for quite some time. The photo is not nude or anything, and most importantly, he knew that it was there. A couple of weeks ago I get an email from someone telling me that I have 48 hours to take down the photo, or else. It is quite unfortunate, but I can be very obstinate when someone tells me what I "better do." Of course there is more to this story. I call Narciso and he gives me all the background. The person who sent me this email had met the guy on my site and has fallen head-over-heels in love.

I have found in situations like this that people believe ONLY what they want to believe. If you try to explain to them rationally and calmly why it doesn't make sense, they internalize that you are jealous and only want to break them up. Okay, I understand that we all have to have fantasies, the problem I have is when you want me to validate them. Or, when you want to blame me for the path that your boyfriend has chosen. I know this won't help, but I feel the need to say it again. He is ONLY with you because of the MONEY! I personally don't think anything is wrong with that, if you understand most masculine attractive 19-year olds ARE NOT in love with 50-somethings (usually, though I'm not saying it is impossible). If that were the case you wouldn't have to travel here for companionship, you could stay in the States.

Whew! I am glad that I got that off my chest. Now, I will be waiting for this tourist who wants to confront me in front of said website model. As far as he knows, the tourist is the only man he has EVER been with.

The sound you heard was me falling off my chair laughing ...

Dominican Island Heat is fast approaching. Kenny and Laurence are working feverishly to put the final touches on the festivities. It promises to be very nice and I have heard from many people who are coming down for this party. As of February 15, 2006, Dominican Island Heat will not be selling anymore VIP passes.

For those who are not attending DIH2, Mario Sessions is having his birthday party the week after. You can go to Mario's site for more information.

This past weekend in the Colonial Zone was very interesting. Depending whose version you believe, a police officer from Politours was shot and robbed of his gun. Well, it seems that the police amassed every officer in the country to go on a manhunt for the perps. The police went into several clubs (ARENA, Jay-Dee's, Pario's & Friends) and asked for ID from the patrons. Those with no ID were loaded onto buses, I guess to be taken to jail. I was not a witness to this, but many people came and told me about it. I am told it was done as professionally as possible, and one tourist told me that after providing his ID he was then told, "thank you, now please enjoy the DR." This wasn't something that was relegated just to gay establishments, they went into straight places too. As of this writing, the perp is still on the loose. No doubt he is a long way from the Colonial Zone. Now, what is the moral of this blurb? Make sure you ALWAYS carry around a copy of your passport.

Okay, I think that is it for now. I have included some pictures that I have taken but never posted. Enjoy!


Anonymous said...

APCTNPEDear Anthony Happy Anniversary and I wish you many many more years of Health and Endurance to keep on going on your quest. I read an article in Hoy/Digital " Denuncian atracos en Zona Colonial" by LLennis Jimenez....Very interesting that buhoneros complained about a police officer by name. Who was the cop that targetted gays tourist in the area in order to get money in exchange for not going to Jail? It will be good to post that in the comments for that article and expose the corrupt officer. Check it out if you can.I wanted to do it myself from here but, this computer would not perform the cut & pate I wanted to do. Feliz Aniversario MI AMIGO. Angel from Long Island.

Anonymous said...

Hi Anthony!!! I must say, that was well said. LOL!!!

See you in a few weeks.


Anonymous said...

Anythony, I really enjoyed this post. I would never move to the DR, but am wrapping up my military career (20 years) and felt the same. A need for change and a change I truly want. Follow your heart and fulfill your life. You can have the job everyone wants you to have or make all the money, but if your life is none fulfilling to YOU, it is meaningless. Then the next day you get hit by a bus and your relatives enjoy your leavings (smile).

As far as the 50 something loving the 19 something. On my second trip an older friend of mine did the same dive. Drunk one evening he admitted to sending money. I told him to check out the DR1 site, because it is a great resource. But he is in "love". Oh well, you see the same in the States too.

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary! People are people and the types you mentioned are everywhere..............I admire your ability to enjoy life even when it means hard work. I always carry a COPY of my passport. I am amazed when I see American tourists carrying their passports with them when they are in the clubs and out for the evening. Perhaps you could emphasize to carry COPY of your passport. Actually I no longer carry my wallet or credit cards when I go out. I estimate what I will need for the evening and add a little in case of some extra frill I stumble upon. Some of the same tourists with passports are carrying fat wallets with credit cards and big money. Sometimes I want to say something but I dont want to intrude on a stranger's business.

the Allen gallery said...

Hola Anthony! What would Santo Domingo gay life be like, without you as a fixture?

The people you know and introductions you have made for me and J- and I'm sure for many others- probably can't be quantified. It's ALWAYS a blast!

You've also made it easy for the next generation to explore a country and culture that in many ways is kinda like being home; or at least amongst family.

There will always be detractors, and haters and those who try to steal your energy. They ain't goin nowhere.

Keep strong, keep doin what you do. See you next month.


Anonymous said...

Hi Anthony!
Glad to know that you are well and thriving in the DR. As you know, I hope to move there too, maybe in a year or year and a half. Maybe you can be my realtor and find an apt. for me halfway as nice as the one you posted! As to the police going into the bars/discos, I know the drill well: the music stops, the lights come on, and everyone has to show their ID! I'm glad to know that they have acquired some manners over the years; it was not always like that. Hasta luego!
From Puerto Rico,

Anonymous said...

Hey Anthony:

What a terrific post! Describing your new life and enjoying it like you do, reminded me of the following sentiment. You probably have heard it already, but it describes your philosophy of life perfectly!

"Work like you don’t need the money,

Love like you’ve never been hurt,


Dance like nobody’s watching!"

Stay Happy, and keep on keeping us Happy!

See you in May.....George

Fierce Thursdays said...

Hey Anthony Happy Anniversary I know it has not been easy to live in th DR. I'm proud of you because you have been faced with many situations but you stayed and worked it out. Obstacles are only opportunies which make us stronger. I will be moving to the DR in about a year I know it will not be easy but I look forward to my challenge. I have fallen in
love with the rawness of the
island and it's beautiful people. So nieghbor you can borrow a cup of suger anytime and don't forget the peach cobbler and fried chicken!! dinners at 7pm.

Miz Vicki The Sports Bar
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

Anonymous said...

Anthony here's to you! Congratulations on your anniversary
and I, for one, am so glad you decided to re-locate to the DR and give us such informative and entertaining blogs! You hit the nail right on the head with your comments on the true basis of the nature of the May/December "romances"...MONEY!

John K said...

Anthony, Happy Anniversary-Feliz Aniversario! It's been very exciting and encouraging to see all things you've been able to accomplish, and to get to meet you and share in some of the things you've made happen. Keep on with the good work, and as C says, stay strong!

Anonymous said...

Congrats anthony, steve here...Love your blog... With regards to the fifty year old(depends diapers) and the nineteen year old(gerber) you are absolutely right. Anyone so insecure most know deep in their heart how fragile their relationship truly is. I find that if one estblishes a genuine friendship with someone(bugaron), that this factor will dwarf the temptaions life(tourist) have to offer (hotter sex or more money).

Anonymous said...

Anthony-I too wish the best and Happy Anniversary.. Yes, it is always intersting island and the people are so warm. Thanks for all you have given to each of us.

Best To You
David (aka) Davinta
The Sports Bar

Nena said...

Hola...Happy Happy Happy, mi loca!
I'm hoping my job offeres a buy out..after 20years at this job...i'm definitely feeling a CHANGE IS A COMING! No Anthony, NOT that change, hahahaha!
Nena from el Barrio~