Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Cautionary Tale

A while back I was contacted for some information on visiting the Dominican Republic. We corresponded back and forth. I will call him "Bob." Bob wrote me recently to tell me about his trip, and all that led up to it. He asked me to share this with my readers as a cautionary tale.

As I stated, Bob contacted me for information. He is a nice guy (very good looking!) in his late 30's. He wanted to find out about possibly meeting someone to show him around. He wasn't interested in the buggaron scene. I told him that many Dominicans are online, and he could try and meet people that way. He met several people that he was interested in, but one in particular really caught his fancy.

They talked practically everyday, and then started talking on the phone. His "friend" speaks a little English. All during their communication his friend never once asked for anything. Everything seemed to be progressing nicely. During their talks Bob revealed a lot of information about himself. What kind of job he had, where he owned homes, his love for shopping and the finer things in life.

The day finally came for the start of his vacation and when he arrived in Santo Domingo he was met at the airport by his friend. He was driving a late-model car, dressed very nicely, handsome and Bob thought he had hit the jackpot. They make their way to the hotel.

Long-story short, they had a great time together. The friend didn't live a gay life, but did know where all the better restaurants, bars, stores and the like were. He even paid on some occasions. He told Bob he was a student at a prestigious university in Santo Domingo studying architecture. Bob was absolutely smitten.

After a few days Bob's friend decides to take him over to meet his "family." He lived with his grandmother in a nice apartment. Bob was ready to get married.

After 10 days, Bob and his friend decide to spend a couple of days at a resort. Bob started noticing a little strange behavior. His friend would disappear for hours on end. Bob thought it strange, but didn't think too much of it.

On the drive back from Punta Cana, Bob's friend is distant and quiet. Bob is wanting to know what's wrong. This doesn't seem like the same guy who he has spent the past two weeks with. Bob's friend starts crying, and tells him he has "problems." It seems that his grandmother is deathly ill with cancer, and the family is desperately trying to raise the money for an operation. This was the reason given for the disappearance while at the resort. The friend needed time to gather his thoughts.

Bob believed him. I mean, everything had been perfect for the last 2 weeks. What reason would his friend have for lying? Bob then goes and gets a cash-advance for $2,000 and gives it to his friend. He decides he will give it to him as a surprise before he left the next day. He wanted to do what he could to help.

That night was magical, according to Bob. They had a romantic dinner, made love, and cuddled the whole night away. The next morning, Bob awakes to find that his friend isn't in the room. Bob thinks that maybe he just went down for breakfast.

Bob starts packing and getting ready to leave that afternoon. He notices that he can't find several pair of expensive shoes and sunglasses. He figures they could be in the trunk of the car. Bob then goes into his safe to get his passport and ticket, only to find out that there is nothing there. No passport, no Cartier watch, no $2,000, no credit cards, no diamond studs. NADA! Now it was starting to sink in.

Bob goes down to the front desk. The staff haven't seen him. He decides to tell them what happened. They pull the copy of the identification that he left when they checked-in together. After further inspection Bob notices that it is not his "friend." The ID looks a little like him, but it definitely ain't him. Bob wants to call the police, the U. S. embassy, anybody who could help.

The police are called and Bob goes into his story once again. He then realizes that he doesn't know his friend's last name. Call me psychic, but I bet the first name wasn't real either. He can't remember where his friend's "grandmother" lives. He also realizes that he doesn't have any photos of his friend either. All during their time together, his friend wouldn't allow any photos of his face to be taken. His friend said that his family was very religious and well-connected, and he just couldn't take any chances of any photos showing up on the Internet.

With that, there wasn't much Bob could do, but get on a plane and return to the States. (He had to leave the next day, because he needed a new passport.) On the airplane ride back he had the time to think about all that went wrong, and how he could be out of $5,000. Not to mention the cost of the trip itself.

When he arrives home the number he used to talk with his "friend" is now answered by someone else. Also, his profile is now deleted off Adam4Adam.

What is the moral of this story? I will leave that to you, dear readers.

As Ever,
The Monaga Blogger

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Bob" was a sucker and got taken. As the saying goes, "A fool and his money are soon departed." Another one bites the dust...

Anonymous said...

the wise must live by the fool do not look for love on adam

CLOAKED said...

Anthony I will say this again... The day I met you (4.5) years ago, you told me about this taxi driver and much, much more (schooling me) I can say, I took in as much as I could and applyed it to my trips to Santo Domingo. I have never! been taken for a ride of anykind doing my many almost(50)trips to Santo Domingo, I just want to say again, Thanks for the information about the things that will and can happen in Santo Domingo. And to you Mr. Bob, im very sorry that happen to you, I guess I was blessed with Mr. Montgomery.

Anonymous said...

Wow... I have been visiting the DR for years and know all the stories like this too well, but this gave me 'PAUSE'. I, too, had met a 'cute papito' from Santiago on A4A and had been corresponding with him for a few weeks. We eventually graduated to telephone conversations, etc. I had been planning a trip to the DR anyway to take care of some long overdue client business, so this also gave me the opportunity to meet him and spend some time with him. We did not get to spend as much time together as I had planned. I was busy with my meetings, etc, and he always had a lot of ‘family things to do. There were a few ‘indications’ that all was not right with him (he was not working steadily, his Dad had just died, he was finishing up school)…all things I had heard before from other available ‘cute papitos’. But I still continued to keep in touch and spend short amounts of time with him. As my trip was coming to a close, I decided I would go to a resort to get out of the city and away from all the distractions. I also considered taking him to a resort with me to get to spend some ‘quality time’ for a few days. I figured I have to give him a few dollars to ‘help out the family while he was gone’ Like I said, I have been coming here for a years and know how these things work! But I read this and said...WAIT..I don't know anything about this guy! It’s one thing to bring them to your room for an hour or so, but quite another to register and share your room with someone, and give them access to your room at all times. I did not even have the benefit of meeting his 'family' or 'friends' or NOTHING...I immediately cancelled my plan. I told him about this story, and that I did not know him well enough to put myself or him in an uncomfortable situation, like “Bob” and his 'friend'. I said we could remain friends and continue "chatting" online or on the phone...but that I would need more time to get to know him before making any kind of 'trusting commitments'. I was sad but relieved. He was sad/angry and a bit insulted saying that what happened to 'Bob' was not his (or anyone’s) fault. I agree it was not his fault. But it was certainly someone's 'fault'...namely the perpetrator! Thanks for posting this story. It was very 'timely'. I don't know if my decision was fair to my “new friend”, but I'd rather take more time getting to know him on 'my terms' instead of “his” and thereby determine “as best as one can in situations like this”, if it is worth taking the risk. PS...Bob was not a sucker. He was someone who trusted someone he did not know well and took a risk. He made a mistake that he will never forget it and will probably always tarnish what could have been a wonderful experience and friendship. Unfortunately, it was a risk that many of us from the US take for granted when coming here.

Anonymous said...

Too bad for Bob. I hope that others just might learn. Thanks for sharing.

El visitador\'s adventures said...

The moral of the story? It is so easy to fall in love. But really, finding love from Adam4Adam? Thanks for the cautionary story. Maybe a reader can offer "Bob" his collection of pictures saved from that site? There is no such a thing as a perfect crime, you know.

Anonymous said...

I would not call "Bob" a fool. This is something that can happen to any one of us one way or the other...and it does not have to be an A4A member from DR.As much as I sympathize with him' I have to learn from this experience.You know...there are a few genuine guys in DR, but we have to not trust any.Get addresses, get to know their phone contacts.And for God sake leave your valuables in the reception safe.I think of the saying...If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Anonymous said...

I've heard it all before... Ppl give too much trust to strange when come to this country, never but never share same room or reveleted place where u stayin at with the strange, if after disco wnna get laid go to the cabana, with the most imp. things, not rolex, not big money, etc. fuck and then everybody home. I believe that way ppl will avoid this kind of headaches. Peacee.

Anonymous said...

WOW... my deepest simpathy for Bob. There is much to be said, but I will not kick a Queen when they are down.. and have just been taken for a very costly ride. Girls BEWARE!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Anthony, Very interesting story and one we've heard of before.This does not surprise me any because there all sorts of people , not only in Santo Domingo, but all over the world whom could have fit easily into this story.It's always dishearten to hear such a story however, not too uncommon.You can never let you guard down and always keep one eye open at all times.It only takes one incident to happen to any of us, to make us use extra caution with all strangers. No matter where we meet them, whether it be on Adam4adam, on the street, in the clubs or Paco's, use good judgement.If you should meet someone,ask around if anyone knows this man and take there advice, to prevent this same story from happen to you.After saying that, there are many good people over there who would have taken him around and showed him a wondeful time and not taken all his money and personal belongings when they left.I suggest when you look for someone to take you around set your ground rules and know the cost for this service. Be wise,very alert,and use good basic judgement along with common sence.Even after hearing this, I just can not wait, and look forward to my next trip to Good Old Santo Domingo..Jim From Houston,Tx.

Anonymous said...

Poor Bob was just too damned trusting. But we are all quilty of...oh he makes me feel sooo good I 'll give him ANYTHING!!! I am certain that you, Mr Montgomery gave him the lowdown and the prerequisit do's and don'ts. However the internet is a SHADY Bitch. I would gamble to bet that Bob felt a sense of security because he met his boy online and not on the Conde. But regardless of where you meet any of these boys, you MUST put them through the paces and make them earn your trust before you even think about going to a resort with any of them. They ALL may not be prostitutes, but thieves?? Quilty until proven otherwise.... Wake up people

Anonymous said...

Words of wisdom: "Bob was not a sucker. He was someone who trusted someone he did not know well and took a risk." That was really smart. Tsk,tsk, poor Bob.

Words of wisdom: "I would not call Bob a fool. This is something that could happen to any one of us one way or the other." Sorry, not in a million years.

What is it that makes people do things in the DR that they would not do in their hometowns? Maybe it's something in the water.
From Puerto Rico,
Rafael

Rhode Island Red said...

Wow. This is just too bad. I knew exactly what the outcome of this story was going to be. It is just terrible.

I just find it so dishartening to know and hear about these terrible stories of the guys in the DR who are just "Con" Men. I know of many of the buggarron types from El Conde who are professional Cons. In fact, often I have been sitting there on El Conde hearing them brag about how they just told some internatioanl "Sucker" a sob story and now have some money coming in soon from Western Union. - - It's just a shame.

I wish there was a place that we could post their pictures and their names and preying locations for others to reivew. If you know of such a place, please let me know.

Anonymous said...

Bob, Sorry about the problem and trouble you went through,
But please do not let this stop you from traveling. Bob is not a fool, just like the other writers have said; we learn and become stronger for the next trip. The important thing is that you’re alive. Every thing is replaceable and your heart will heal.
Thanks Anthony for posting this, it could have happen to any one of us or we know some that has gone thought this, it could be a4a or any were in SD, or any other country.
I cannot express this enough. The guys in SD have an agenda they have to live and feed their families. They tell you all the good things that we want to here how you’re the only one your so hot, sexy all the BS. If were every thing they say we are, why do we have to travel & spend all the money that we do in SD? It’s a fantasy that we live in. Where in the world will you travel to and find strgt guys want to be with old, overweight or just not really attractive. (my self included). Not here in the states! They guys in sd are not able to make a living and the dollar is needed, that’s why the woman does not say or rise a eye brow. They know what’s going on and it has been like this for years, but the money is needed. The point behind all this is to go down have fun and keep an eye open and trust no one. I’m not sure but I don’t trust any of them…. They all have agenda. Follow one of them home with out they knowing and see what their real live is, might shock you that you’re not in that pix. They all have a woman or other friends. Go in to the western union office off the conde you will see they are all waiting for the payday on a Thursday or Fri, there woman and children waiting with them. Again be aware, thanks Anthony for the post and again, Bob keep your head up. You have your life.

Anonymous said...

Hey Bob,

Since you got duckets to throw away like that, can you hit me off with $2000? SHIT!

Derrick

Anonymous said...

Bob is a boob--a child could have told him how that saga would end, but I do feel bad for him. SD is not Bangkok where things are much clearer with a business is business attitude. I've never bothered with bugarones in DR because they all want to be tops it seems to me!

Nena Nuyorican said...

Even the nicest Dominican guys have to be watched--ALL THE TIME. Being poor is no excuse for being a thief but it seems like the level of respect is ZERO towards tourists especially the gay tourists....There is a reason for safe deposit boxes and yes follow these rules..Find HIM, F**K him and F O R G E T HIM-ur life back in the USA will be happier! There is a term in spanish we used about people like that, " sin vergüenza ' AND that seems to be a norm for too many!

Anonymous said...

Bob is not a fool? Let me think a moment... When was the last time I gave a trick that I met on the internet $2000.00 for his "sick" grandmother? I can't seem to remember. It must be Alzheimer's, so let me turn this question around: When was the last time YOU gave a trick that you met on the internet $2000.00 for his "sick" grandmother? Never, right? Enough said. I rest my case.
From Puerto Rico,
Rafael

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the story.I needed to read about this again.You've told us over and over again that things like this can happen.It seems that on every trip I meet Mr. Wright but in the end it always turns out to be the same old story line just a differnt actor. Thanks again for the reminder that it is what it is.
jh/fl

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to Bob.... but how did the trade get the code to the box??!! Please don't tell me you gave it to him?? To Derrik you ain't right!! And to the poster that said all the Buggies are tops... LIES!! I was just there on the only culo tour baby! You are the one paying so you get to direct the show... put out or GET OUT!!!

Anonymous said...

To the Blogger who says that the only reason why fat, old, blah, blah men go to DR is because they can't find trade anywhere else - it's about the dollar man. And dollars can buy a dick in any city, in any place in the world!

Anonymous said...

Interesting story, and regardless of who's to blame, "Bob" got shit for his vacation, and that is sad. However, it could have been worse. Anthony has told several stories of physical violence on this site.

I'm surprised the term "sanky panky" hasn't come up in these comments. "Bob's" experience is a classic example of the male-to-male variety - the sanky-panky will develop a "relationship" and keep it going for only so long as it is of advantage to him. If you haven't heard of the term, Google it and move below the first entries, which are for the movie. There are some interesting discussion forums dealing with it, including one on DR1.

As with Cloaked, Anthony gave me very good advice on my first arrival to the DR. He even took me to the ole' Sports Bar and let me know who was definitely OK and who was maybe not. Anthony also advised me to carefully inspect the cedula of ANY person I was considering going with. I made a habit of doing so, and memorizing the details, including the number, until I could write them down.

I hope that "Bob" is not completely soured on the DR. There are some truly beautiful friendships to be made under the right circumstances, and once you make them, you'll see an entirely different country and people.

George from SF (and Vancouver)

Anonymous said...

1 out of 100 become a truly beautiful friendship all the others are just out to get what they can,so tell the truth about the DR,no man is really looking for a real anthing but the real dollar with different presidents and its the U S of A presidents not the chooked presidents of the dr.

Anonymous said...

To the poster who directs the shows... we gotta talk! Whenever I've been in S.D., the bugarones have come up to me and told me their stories about going off to baseball camp soon and how they need a few bucks to get the car fixed or whatever and then always went on to tell me what I could do to/for them! I thought..damn, if I open the wallet, I call the shots- but thought maybe that wasnt the custom. Next time I'm there, I'll just have to say Yo, this is how i roll...u in or out?

Anonymous said...

All I am saying we go down to DR beause the guys are hot and thye look at us with question our appreance, and not just judge if your old or fat or just not a model type. yes a dollar can buy a dick any where in the world. But how much of a dollare man, that's what I was saying. try 20.00 US not happening.

Anonymous said...

To the "1 out of 100" poster, all I will say is it depends on what you're looking for. I guess "truth," like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

George

Anonymous said...

Que???? Was Bob a 14yr old girl from the valley? Please. Tell Gidget to leave the expensive stuff home next time. It was a very expensive lesson, but a lesson none the less. The sankies have a saying. It applies to both male and female. " What makes you think you can find HERE, what you cannot find at HOME" It kills me when we Americans try to project our fantasy on the reality or others. If I had a peso for every fool that has let her guard down on the island, I would have a bucket full of pesos. "I love you no bullshit, buy me drink" LMAO THIS IS ABOUT CONTROL PEOPLE. Often we attempt to control these young men with our money. If I send him money he won't go to the bars. Ha f-ing ha!! If I met you in NYC and a week after told you that my "virgin" momma needed money to remove her conjoined twin, you would tell me "Go to hell and take yo momma with you". LOL Why is it different in Santo? Que lastima! Give me pay for play any day! Treat them like stamps...lickem, stickem and send them on their way. I have had wonderful time in santo domingo. Dominican men, like other men, respect strength. Tell them "no", "your problem is not my problem", "I'm here on vacation not to solve your problems" and they will RESPECT you. Then you can cut through the bs and meet some good men. But don't forget to bring your purse. It is, what it is.

Anonymous said...

The "Directer" here....Listen I have been going down to DR for YEARS, and I just got feed up with them telling me what 'they were willing to do'...HELL TO THE NO! I say to any of them, I am looking for culo (ass) solomente (only), are you down? If not PROXIMA (next). Well most times not that direct.. but I 've learned to ask for what I want and 85% of the time I get it!! And the ones that say they will put out, then you get back to the room and then here come the lame excuses... I say NO CULO NO PESOS!! And You would be so surprized at the ones who take it like champ.. And this is why I LIVE for SDQ!!!.. Sorry Bob

Anonymous said...

George...."truth or beauty"? or was it how much you spent on him!!!!
you know perfectly well that the 1 out of 100 is the truth and 99% are looking for the us dollar,if you can't admit to that then you are really in denial. maybe you might of been lucky with the one but try again and see if you ever lucky with a beautiful friendship.

Anonymous said...

to ms.blogger who says , fat, old men-
please post your pic as i know u get free sex in the DR.
u must be one lovely over bytch

LOL hell to the NO..u R NOT!

lol i swear some of these queens don't look in the mirror and lie about how much they spenton the boyz. There always some gay fool everywhere u go and that one is a big f'in fool.

get over yourself ms fool ur self

Anonymous said...

To the 5:16am poster...With respect, I think you are missing my point..."It depends on what you're looking for." If you're looking for sex, pay for it. I do (and it's usually very much worth it). Everybody does, including Dominicans. The 3:10 am poster is right. There are some good men among the Buggarones, but they are sex tourist industry workers - not gay wannabe friends or lovers.

The point I was trying to make is there can be more to a DR visit than sex tourism. Bluntly put, if you want to make some truly beautiful friendships and see an entirely different aspect of the country and its people, try the revolutionary idea of NOT going to bed with one or two nice men and see if a different sort of relationship forms. To do this, however, you might have to get outside the buggarone compound.

But, as I said before, it depends on what you're looking for. I don't mean to be judgemental in that, just to say there's another dimension you can look at if you want to.

George

Anonymous said...

Why would a grown adult man make some made bad judgements in such a short period of time......while I feel sorry for him, he allowed himself to be played. He violated virtually every rule of the gay traveler in the DR...I am here now and there is an Anerican tourist who ´knows everything...several of us who are regulars have triend to give him hints but he knows it all...he has already been involved in drama and I expect more....I just hope he leaves unharmed.

Anonymous said...

OH get over your self. post your pix first queen and then how the hell would we really know its you ! I am fat ! and yes I do pay for sex, we all pay for being with a guy or just having a lover.if its in DR or US, what you think that you travel free to DR. no your paid for that ticket just like the rest of us. SO ones again get over your self!!!

Anonymous said...

Anthony,
1st things 1st. THANKS for the blog. It is priceless.
When I meet a guy I insist on seeing his cedula. I use my cell camera and photo a copy to my e address. It sends a message to the potential bad boys.

It is possible to have fun and be safe in DR.

I have lived and traveled there since "78. I have been tested but so far no bad experiences.

The Bob story proves that everything that glitters is not gold. It is sad and we need to hear these sagas to stay alert and to share information.

Thanks for your aggressive and effective pursuit of the parasite Alejandro. He victimized a acquaintance of mine.

If there is no cedula or if they will not show it to me then that ends the contact.

Thanks so much for your investment in the blog.

Peace & Blessings

GASOLINA

Anonymous said...

I havent really read comments on this blog b4- usually check out the pics and good links to stuff, but this seems to be a hot topic. I never knew this bugaron scene was so big in DR. I was only in Santo Domingo once for a few days on a biz trip and didnt even notice many Americans there. I did go one night to that bar Jaycee's and some guys approached me, but they seemed real young and I wasn't that into it and this big buff doorman told the guys to go away... (Now if that hot doorman approached me, it would have been a different story!)

Anonymous said...

Huh???? Get over myself? Just stating my opinion, which is that there is a lot more to the DR than sex tourism. Besides, I thought I said I do pay for sex. If you don’t like my opinion, maybe you should get over it. Post my pix? At least I identified myself. Getting personal is the last refuge for people who don’t have anything meaningful to say.

I’m sorry this guy is so unhappy, but Anthony, your blog is too good for this discussion to generate to the point that it has. So I won’t say any more on this subject. But I am reminded of my father’s phrase, “The truth shall set you free, but first it’s gonna make you madder ‘n hell!”

Over and out…….George

Anonymous said...

George that message was not for you! it was for the 5:25 blogger. of course your intitle to your opion we all.Thanks to Anthony were able to get all the SD update.

Anonymous said...

laughing my ass off at the sissies egos on here lately

no wonder the hustlers get over on them

as ms. george says, over and out,


haha

Anonymous said...

I appreciate your clarification, and offer my apologies. Anthony's blog is always classiest when all of us contribute our opinions and not our insults.
Thanks....George

Anonymous said...

OMG! Is this still going on? Give it a rest already!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to commend all previous posters on their comments and opinions. Its great that we can communicate is this fashion without being condesending to each other..

I think this kind of thing happens all the time...we just don't hear about it...how many others have had the same experience and has never come forward.

Speaking from experience I've had similar senarios and I have learned from them. Where is it written that we should be ashamed of life...shit happens...and you're suppose to learn from it.

This is the essence of our existance....We are here to overcome our limitations...


ct

Anonymous said...

Not to worry...I think the rift ended in a very nice way...so its been put to rest

Anonymous said...

correction for 11pm blogger...it's opinion and
it's entitled
and it should read, your entitled to your opinion as we all are.



English is not complicated, a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Get off the dick and uses your brains

yes I am an elementary school teacher.
now write, 1000x, I will not be a sissy when I grow up.

haha

Anonymous said...

"Get off the dick and uses your brains." I agree English is not complicated. So teacher needs to go back to school! Sorry, just couldn’t resist correcting the corrector (LOL).

Anonymous said...

wow, the punk could proof read, yippie!so I typed uses instead of use
glad you left the crack pipe alone,keep up the work, you will succeed one day if you stop chasing the boys and spending you money on them.

Anonymous said...

Wow! And this guy's STILL a teacher?