Friday, June 16, 2006

Blessed

I don't know why it seems that I need to get bad news before I understand how blessed I am.

I got a call yesterday from a friend who calls me frequently from the States. He had been talking about how he wanted to come down for a visit but the airfares were ridiculous. He kept asking me what I wanted him to bring me. I said my usual, magazines.

Today, I get a phone call from his cell phone in Santo Domingo. I thought that was odd, seeing as I spoke to him last night. Surprise, he was here and wanted to come by and talk to me, in person. Being vain and thinking EVERYTHING must be about me I asked him what was up and to just tell me on the phone. No, he said. He needed to do in person.

30 minutes later he shows up at my door. We hug, laugh, he brings me the latest magazines, along with a delish cheesecake! We then sit down and he tells me, "this may be my last trip to Santo Domingo for awhile." As he loves this country as much as I do, I was like WHY?

Then he told me, "I have prostate cancer." I sit down and look for a cigarette and then all the questions come. How? How are you feeling? What are you going to do? Have you told your family? What's your prognosis? And on and on.

It was found in a routine checkup. He is in no pain, has lost no weight and looks like his old self. In great spirits and cracking jokes with me. After he left I sat down and felt ashamed. I'm thinking he is coming over to tell me something I had done wrong. No, he was here to tell me as a friend in person and to tell ME that everything is going to be alright. As I write this I'm tearing up. The things I wanted to say, I couldn't. I was just shocked.

Why does it always take something like this for you to sit and reflect on how much people mean to you? I don't know. But today, I am blessed for having a friend like him and I just wanted him to know that I agree, everything WILL be alright.

Have you told your family/friends how much they mean to you?

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello Anthony, just a brief note to let you know from one who knows, be thankful and greatful, you had these very wonderful monents to spend with your friend, yes your so right , so many times we fail to tell our friends how much they mean to us along life's journey but again you, were given this opportunity today to sit and share these precious monents togeather and for that you were so lucky, so many times it becomes too late for us to say what we always should of said but fail to do so, right? Your so blessed that you had this day to share and now reflect on your friendship with your dear friend, god has given you a gift and it sounds to me like your being too hard on yourself, just appreciate those minutes and hours you had togeather and be ever greatful.This shall be a wonderful day for you to recall in your memory bank , of your friendship. with your special friend..god bless you both.. May you be so lucky to have another day to spend with him before he leaves to return home, if so, take full advantage of it... make it the best ever..

Kenny Still said...

Wow , Anthony
Yes sometimes it does take something bad to make us realize just how blessed we are! Thanks for being my friend!
Hugs
Kenny

David Lee said...

I used to complain because "I had no shoes", until I met a man "who had no feet".

I thank GOD everyday for my family and friends. Often times there are hardships that come into our lives, news of loved ones who are sick, is one of those hardships. I pray for our friend everyday and YES EVERYTHING WILL be OK.

My love and prayers go out to both of you.
Love David Lee

Anonymous said...

Yes you are BLESSED! Everyday that you awake and you awake in the DR you are truly blessed. Now you have been given the task of heeding to the needs of your friend. In times of despair is when we stop to appreciate ALL of our blessings. Well now is your time to be thankful, and to give back. Because the one thing you NEVER get punished for is giving. God bless you and your friend.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Anthony for sharing this experience. Fortunately prostate cancer is very cureable and, with proper medical attention, your friend WILL BE ALRIGHT! The survival rate is quite high with this type of cancer, but it serves as a reminder that all Black Men over the age of 40 should have annual prostate exams and PSA's. We are especially prone to this type of cancer, but it doesn't have to be a death sentence if caught in time.

Anonymous said...

To the last comment..Please all men over 40 have the test. Black, White, Asian, etc. Let's all not assume this friend is Black.

Anonymous said...

It is a very simple, safe test to take. I took it this past April and everything is fine. Even if your Doctor does not remember to do the test, if you are 40 or over and have never had the test...ask for it! That is what I did.

Anonymous said...

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

"If tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see.
If the sun should rise and find your eyes filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today.
While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you loved me as much as I loved you.
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say "good-bye" and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me, I'm right there in your heart!

From Puerto Rico,
Rafael
PS: For all our friends who have gone on ahead of us.

Anonymous said...

Leave it to Miss Rafael!! The child don't no were near DEAD.

Anonymous said...

Yes I no that I left out a word so don't start. I should have said that the child seems no were near dead.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anthony im back in the States thanks for hearing me out I did not mean to spoild your weekend with the somewhat bad news cause you are the brother I never had. dont worry im strong and I will snap back after I to take care of a few things here in the states. (you know... never let the gurls see you down)

It was nice seeing all you guys, David, (keep up the good work) Jerry ,(I love the way your handle the Police Sat night), Jose, (remember what I told you) and Leon (even though you was shady you are still loved... by the way the bar looks great), Scotch (Dont give up, we all have our up's and down's) I hate to use this Anonymous thing I have to protect myself from the rumors. Remember to get your prostate exam if you are 40 and over and I know most if not all of you guys are!

Anonymous said...

To the comment made about my posting all black men should have prostrate exams, I singled out black men because we are at the greatest risk for this disease simply because we are not getting tested as we should and have higher mortality rates because of this....and I did make an assumption that Anthony's friend was black and I was correct in that assumption. He is! I know that for a fact.

Anonymous said...

I know Anthony's friend is alive and hopefully will overcome his health problem. I included the poem for those of us who have lost good friends without us being able to tell them how much they mean to us. One day, I had lunch with a very close friend. That night, his sister called to tell me that in the early evening,while jogging, he had been hit and killed by a car. This was years ago, but he is still very much present in my life and in my heart.
From Puerto Rico.
Rafael

Anonymous said...

Anthony WE need info on the closing of Arena and Punto bar,According to Clave Digital they raided the place and arrested 35 people including clients.

Mario Sessions said...

here is some info about the closing club in Santo Domingo.
-------------------------------
SANTO DOMINGO.- The administrator of the discotheque Arena and the bar Punto, Kelvin Martinez, warned today that the closing of those businesses was illegal because the Prosecutor Julio Sabá proceeded without a judge’s authorization.
He said that the authorities acted against him because he recently revealed to the press that the police in the zone was collecting "protection" from the different establishments.
"They didn’t show me any order on the part of a judge or gave me explanations. They entered the discotheque without any explanation, pushed me, hit me and placed me in a SUV, he said in a telephone interview, added what followed was "an indignant situation,” including the arrests of the disc jockey, bartender, bouncer and cashier.
He complained that he was treated as a criminal
The businesses searched and closed by the authorities are located in Santo Domingo’s Colonial Zone.

Anonymous said...

Info on Punto/Arena:
www.clavedigital.com

Anonymous said...

Back to the subject of BLESSED:
Anthony thank you so much for your heart warming article about your friend. And Rafael, thank you for that beautiful poem. To Anthony's friend, you be strong and pray, you are right to say everything will be alright. God Bless YOU.

Anonymous said...

I think I know who Anthony's friend is but I will not say, he was so friendly this weekend it was like he had a glow. We never talk as much but Ironicly he gave me advice about a few things in life; like he knew I was in distressed. It helped alot Thank you new friend I wish we could have spent more time together.

Anonymous said...

What is going on down there? Clubs being raided? Jay Dees? Arena? What's happening?

Anonymous said...

Leon, stop stirring up shit. You know you are behind arena's troubles, I just wonder if Kelvin is aware of your tretrorey, stop using this blog to interjected your blurbs among the truly concerned bloggers who want to comment about the illness of Anthony's sick friend.

Anonymous said...

Grandfather to prostate cancer last July and still miss him right now to this day. He was my Best Friend. He fought the cancer for eight years before his health failed. The survival rate is higher for men in their 40's and 50's compared to men in their 70's. Early detection and treatment is truly in your favor. May God Bless You !

Anonymous said...

lol at outting leon.

Anonymous said...

I thought the poem and tribute by Rafael was great. y is someone always hating on rafael he did put at the end of the poem,for all our friends who have gone ahead of us.sheesh some queens.