Crossroads

I have been very contemplative lately. I just celebrated my 44th birthday. And at the end of January, I will celebrate my 5th anniversary of living in the Dominican Republic.

But I have been having this nagging feeling about what next?

That is the question I have been grappling with for the last couple of weeks. Over two months ago I stopped smoking. Cold turkey. I had been trying to lull myself with the sense that if I could just cut down, say to 5 cigarettes a day, then all would be well. That didn't work. I would smoke those five cigarettes and buy 5 more (here you can buy them 1 at-a-time). I knew that I could not have even one cigarette. I kept praying to God to take the craving away. Then one morning I woke up and said that I wasn't going to smoke today. Not really believing it. But I didn't smoke that day. Or the next. And now 2 months later I feel so much better and know that my health will be the better for it.

For the last couple of weeks I have not been drinking alcohol. I have also been trying to eat much more healthily. This is not part of a any New Year's resolutions. I have decided not to do them anymore. For me they never work. This has been a really unconscious effort that came out of not smoking. For some reason I feel like I'm preparing myself for something. I'm just still trying to figure out what.

Several months ago, my dearest friend called to tell me that he had early-onset Alzheimer's. I was completely and utterly devastated by the news. I got off the phone and cried like a baby. He was only 60 years old, how could this be possible? He is the person most responsible for me moving here and following my dream. He did whatever he could to encourage me, prod and push me to take the leap. He even agreed that he would help me form this company I started, Monaga. Though he did not want to be bothered. For months I had been looking for a name. I told everone that I would know it when I heard it. One day my friend (I will use his initials L.A.) jokingly said to me, "why don't you call it Agamon." Didn't like it, but we changed it around and came up with Monaga. When I first said the name I knew that was it. The name Monaga is made up of the first three letters of my last name, and the first three letters of his last name.

Thinking of that phone call from my friend and this thought that I'm really not a part of the "real world." Meaning the world in the United States, I have been thinking about what am I going to with the next 5 years. I was thinking about going back "home" and getting a job and acting like a proper adult. Paying into a 401K, acquiring debt, and just re-joining the rat race. I don't want to do that, but I have this nagging feeling that I should and I don't know why.

Before moving here I used to work at a newspaper for 10 years. Newspapers are a dying breed. So the likelihood that I could go back and work in that industry is not very good. Most of my old colleagues are scared for their jobs and just praying the axe doesn't fall on them. I could go back and go to school, maybe become a nurse. LOL!

I have been also thinking what I learned in the last year, and the lessons have been many. I have learned to hold my friends very close and to tell them how much I love and need them. I have learned that no matter what anyone says about you, it matters more what you think about yourself.

I know this is just a malaise I'm going through. I am still happy here (today) and understand that going "home" is not going to make me "happy." On the contrary, I would be hating the cold so desperately right now. Besides, that means I would have to give up the blog. And no one can keep up with all the shit that goes on here like I can. Okay, that's it, I'm staying. I mean, I should. Right? LOL!

Anyway, I pray that everyone has a happy, healthy, safe and prosperous New Year!

As ever,
The Monaga Blogger

Cautionary Tale

A while back I was contacted for some information on visiting the Dominican Republic. We corresponded back and forth. I will call him "Bob." Bob wrote me recently to tell me about his trip, and all that led up to it. He asked me to share this with my readers as a cautionary tale.

As I stated, Bob contacted me for information. He is a nice guy (very good looking!) in his late 30's. He wanted to find out about possibly meeting someone to show him around. He wasn't interested in the buggaron scene. I told him that many Dominicans are online, and he could try and meet people that way. He met several people that he was interested in, but one in particular really caught his fancy.

They talked practically everyday, and then started talking on the phone. His "friend" speaks a little English. All during their communication his friend never once asked for anything. Everything seemed to be progressing nicely. During their talks Bob revealed a lot of information about himself. What kind of job he had, where he owned homes, his love for shopping and the finer things in life.

The day finally came for the start of his vacation and when he arrived in Santo Domingo he was met at the airport by his friend. He was driving a late-model car, dressed very nicely, handsome and Bob thought he had hit the jackpot. They make their way to the hotel.

Long-story short, they had a great time together. The friend didn't live a gay life, but did know where all the better restaurants, bars, stores and the like were. He even paid on some occasions. He told Bob he was a student at a prestigious university in Santo Domingo studying architecture. Bob was absolutely smitten.

After a few days Bob's friend decides to take him over to meet his "family." He lived with his grandmother in a nice apartment. Bob was ready to get married.

After 10 days, Bob and his friend decide to spend a couple of days at a resort. Bob started noticing a little strange behavior. His friend would disappear for hours on end. Bob thought it strange, but didn't think too much of it.

On the drive back from Punta Cana, Bob's friend is distant and quiet. Bob is wanting to know what's wrong. This doesn't seem like the same guy who he has spent the past two weeks with. Bob's friend starts crying, and tells him he has "problems." It seems that his grandmother is deathly ill with cancer, and the family is desperately trying to raise the money for an operation. This was the reason given for the disappearance while at the resort. The friend needed time to gather his thoughts.

Bob believed him. I mean, everything had been perfect for the last 2 weeks. What reason would his friend have for lying? Bob then goes and gets a cash-advance for $2,000 and gives it to his friend. He decides he will give it to him as a surprise before he left the next day. He wanted to do what he could to help.

That night was magical, according to Bob. They had a romantic dinner, made love, and cuddled the whole night away. The next morning, Bob awakes to find that his friend isn't in the room. Bob thinks that maybe he just went down for breakfast.

Bob starts packing and getting ready to leave that afternoon. He notices that he can't find several pair of expensive shoes and sunglasses. He figures they could be in the trunk of the car. Bob then goes into his safe to get his passport and ticket, only to find out that there is nothing there. No passport, no Cartier watch, no $2,000, no credit cards, no diamond studs. NADA! Now it was starting to sink in.

Bob goes down to the front desk. The staff haven't seen him. He decides to tell them what happened. They pull the copy of the identification that he left when they checked-in together. After further inspection Bob notices that it is not his "friend." The ID looks a little like him, but it definitely ain't him. Bob wants to call the police, the U. S. embassy, anybody who could help.

The police are called and Bob goes into his story once again. He then realizes that he doesn't know his friend's last name. Call me psychic, but I bet the first name wasn't real either. He can't remember where his friend's "grandmother" lives. He also realizes that he doesn't have any photos of his friend either. All during their time together, his friend wouldn't allow any photos of his face to be taken. His friend said that his family was very religious and well-connected, and he just couldn't take any chances of any photos showing up on the Internet.

With that, there wasn't much Bob could do, but get on a plane and return to the States. (He had to leave the next day, because he needed a new passport.) On the airplane ride back he had the time to think about all that went wrong, and how he could be out of $5,000. Not to mention the cost of the trip itself.

When he arrives home the number he used to talk with his "friend" is now answered by someone else. Also, his profile is now deleted off Adam4Adam.

What is the moral of this story? I will leave that to you, dear readers.

As Ever,

The Monaga Blogger